Saturday, April 11, 2009

Big Long Update....

a lot of big things have been happening at the Pease residence. Lewis had his swallow test on Monday & he didn't pass:( he had some fluid going to the lungs when they gave him the normal liquid & a nectar liquid. he did however pass the honey consistency so we are allowed to feed him again! we have to add this gel to his milk to make it thicker so it wont go to the lungs. I'm just soo happy to be bottle feeding him again. He has been doing okay with his feeds. He gets 70 cc ever 3 hours & he will drink from a bottle about 15-35cc's then the rest we have to put in his feeding tube. Once he gets to the point he can drink all 70 every 3 hours we can pull the tube out & leave it out!! I wish he would just hurry up & drink it all so we wouldn't have to deal with both the tube & bottle feeds. i guess i need to learn patience so he is taking his sweet time with it! my goal for him is by the end of this month to have the tube out. He did however drink one whole bottle today & i thought i was going to cry i was sooo happy. he has never done that.
We saw his nurse Beth on tuesday & he had an echo. There are still a few things with his heart they will keep an eye on but for the most part it looks great! He still has the pulmonary hypertension so once that goes away we can say goodbye to the oxygen & Viagra!! they are saying once he grows it should go away. so hopefully soon. They weighed him & he now weighs 8 pounds 4 ounces! Beth said she is very happy with his weight gain & so am i. he is also 21 & 1/2 inches long.
He will start seeing a speech therapist & a physical therapist at the end of the month. The speech therapist will help me with his feeds & what not. im not sure what will go down at the physical therapists.... just one more Dr's appointment we have to go to. they sure do keep me busy!
Also Lewis finally got his voice back!! i missed his loud cry... i never thought i would say that but its so nice to be able to hear him if i go in the other room. before i kept running back & forth from room to room just to make sure he was okay since i couldn't hear him cry.. but his voice is back & loud as ever! and im thankful for that.

the cutest baby in the whole wide world!

as for Alvin & I we are adjusting pretty well to being new parents. I love to see alvin hold the baby & kiss on him. He is always telling Lewis "you are so cute" & "i love you soo much". Alvin is an amazing dad & helps out soo much with his feeding & changing diapers. He always just jumps right in to help & im soo grateful for that. He will even do a few feeding shifts during the night when he doesn't have work so i can get some good sleep. I appreciate that soo much & dont think i could make it through everything without him by my side. i always knew he was the man i was supposed to be with for eternity. I love you Alvin! Thanks for all you do for our family.

Today i had a little of a breakdown... I went to a baby shower for a friend today & while i was there i was watching all the moms with their babys there. one was breastfeeding, one was holding her sleeping baby & the other was bouncing her baby on her lap.... i hate to say it but i kinda felt sorry for myself. that i didnt have my baby there, that im not able to breastfeed & do normal things with my baby. then i felt even more sorry for Lewis. That he has to have the tube down his throat to eat. that he has to have oxygen & medicine to help him breath. i kinda thought for a second that he wasnt as happy as these other babies i was seeing. more than anything i just want him to be healthy & happy & be a normal baby. Then i remembered the words Alvin said at Lewis's baby blessing. That Lewis knew what he would have to go through before he came to our family. I quickly had a change of attitude & just thanked my heavenly father for everything we have been thru. i know it happened for a reason. it wasnt just by chance that everything happened. Lewis is still here for a reason & more than anything i am grateful for that. I wouldnt change anything. We are one of the lucky ones that still has our baby with us so how can i feel sorry for myself... things could be much worse.
I just hope i can learn all i need to learn from this experience. So that i can be a better mom & wife. i will no longer feel sorry for myself that i dont have a normal baby! my baby is special. i am grateful heavenly father has trusted me to be his mother & take care of him. i promise to do my best & be the best mom to you Lewis. you are my little miracle baby!

on to a more happier note we got a visit from my great grandpa spud. It was soo good to see him. We missed seeing grandma peggy since she was at a shower.. we hope you two know how much we love you! we wish we could see you more. Here is a picture of Lewis with his great great grandpa spud!! hopefully we will be able to get a 5 generation picture when we go up north.


  1. Hope you know how much we love all 3 of you! We are so proud of you, our sweet daughter, and are amazed at the strength and faith you have shown over the past few months. Thanks also to Alvin for being such a great dad and such a wonderful husband for Jessica. Give that grandbaby a big kiss and squeeze from Grandma and Papa T. Much love - Mom

  2. He is so dang adorable!! i hope you know how much we love you guys!! Jess, i think you are entitled to feel sorry for yourself occasionally! This path that you and Alvin are going down is a hard one. Love ya!

    aunt Tiff

  3. What a precious baby! You are very inspiring to me, reading your upadates help give me strength to continue with our own struggles. I was at a baby shower too on Sat., I wonder if it could of been the same one? For April...
    Continue on with your great attitude and strength, I know the Lord is happy when we can see our blessings through the clouds of our trials.
    your cousin,

  4. It made me so happy when I heard that Grandpa Spud got to come and see you guys, I bet that just made your day! You two are so amazing and are such amazing parents. not being able to do the "normal" parent things dont make you less of a mother. Look at all the things you do for your son on a daily basis, you are such a strong mother and you do more then most mothers could handle doing. LOVE YOU

  5. He is such a cutie Jesse! You are such a wonderful mom and you do so much for you family! We know you guys have been through so much! You are a wonderful example!

  6. Jesse,

    I just wanted to give you a word of encouragement from a mom who has felt the same feelings you expressed.

    While I don't want to compare our conditions and tell you I know exactly how you feel, I just want you to know you are doing a good job. I remember well the feelings of not having my baby right beside me wherever I went. I recorded in my journal that I went to the park with my friend and her baby who is just a few months older than my own son. I got a babysitter for my son so I could spend time with my friend. It was painful.

    Each week we would trade off who would go to church. Each week I would sit and ache because we are a family centered church and I was sitting there alone while my family was home. Life then was unfair. At least that is how I felt.

    I think it is very normal to feel the way you felt on Saturday, and then as you said you were able to feel gratitude, what a blessing.

    Just know Jesse that you are doing a good job. Remind yourself of this. You have been given a heavy task and you have stepped up to the plate. You're doing the right things. Lewis will be blessed throughout his life because of what you are able to do for him at this critical time.

    Take care and know that prayers are being offered for you and your little family.

    - Deni

  7. Jessica- I know you don't know me, but I wanted to say hello. My friend Tenille and I were friends with Alvin back in the day. Tenille was hanging out with some old friends and told me about your little guy. You guys are definately in my thoughts and prayers. I can't even imagine what you are going through, but you both seem to be handling it so well. I am so impressed by the both of you. Tenille told me that Alvin is working out in Scottsdale as a police officer. My husband and I are out here too with our baby. If there is anything we can ever do for you guys let us know! (I hope you don't think it was weird that I commented. I just had to.)

  8. I just have to say that you guys are amazing parents and a great example!!! I'm so happy Lewis is doing better. We ♥ Lewis!!!

  9. Hello Jesse,

    I always cry when I read your blog. It seems like only yesterday we were two girls dressing the same and having picnics at Capps. Now we are both married and starting our families. You are such a great inspiration to me. You were chosen to have that little miracle in your home and you and Alvin are doing great! I loved spending time with you and once I get over this morning sickness stuff I will be back to sit and talk to you. I still have a couple things for you and little Lewis. I love you Jesse and if you need anything call.